Korean Culture: Wins and Fails

If you don't know much about Korean culture, I'm sure you've at least assumed that it is different from that of the USA. This far away from home, day-to-day things have required some adjustment. My research about such customs before our departure wasn't completely extensive, but even with the tips I did read about online or in print, there's a lot to remember! Let me tell you about some run-ins with Korean culture, and you'll see if I succeeded in negotiating the custom or if I fell flat on my face.

Respect

• The Korean language and culture consist of hierarchical structures that distinguish different levels of respect. That is, if you're talking to someone older or with more authority, you must use a certain type of language that you wouldn't use with children or friends. (If you know Spanish, this is kind of like Usted versus Tú, except instead of just a different pronoun and slightly different verb conjugation, the entire system differs.) Example: Saying "hello" to an elder: "안녕하세요" (an-yong-ha-seyo), whereas with more familiar or less authoritative audiences, you can just say "안녕," (an-yong). Pro-tip: always use the more formal system. That way, you're not offending anyone, and those who don't require such respect would understand that you just don't know Korean very well.
• Another point of respectfulness focuses on the hands. If you're out to dinner, you shouldn't fill your own glass; rather, you should fill others' glasses and let them fill yours. When doing so, always use two hands. You can put both hands on the carafe/bottle or one hand on the other. The same goes when shaking hands: your right hand holds your new acquaintance's right hand, and you place your left hand on your own arm some where around your elbow, forearm, or wrist, or on the other person's hand. I was so stoked that I remembered to do this when I met the parents of one of my students (and, of course, greeted them with "안녕하세요")!!!

Notice the slight bow as well as the hand placement. Source

Attire

Slippers just for the bathroom. Source

• The most noticeable and ubiquitous custom that we've found deals with footwear. When you enter a home in the West, it is customary to take your shoes off. However, it is not required. Generally, if you're at home, your shoes are probably off (unless you're my father-in-law :) ). If you leave your home and realize you forgot your cell phone, you'll likely run back inside, up to your bedroom, and back to the car without removing your shoes, right? Here, that is not the case. Shoes are reserved for outside. In in intimate setting like at home, or even at a traditional-style restaurant (you know, where you sit on the cushions on the ground), your shoes are expected to be off. Inside, your options are: barefoot, socks, or lounging slippers; even the bathroom has special slippers. At school, we teach in our socks or slippers, or even barefoot! (It is fun at first - I don't like to wear shoes much - but at the end of a 9 hour day, my feet are screaming! You don't realize just how much support your shoes give you until you give up working in them.) When our furniture delivery man came on our first morning here, he took off his sandals upon entering our apartment, and each time he would return to the hallway for another box of materials, he'd slip on his shoes. Simply to take them off again 5 seconds later!
• I had learned that Korean culture is more conservative than I've found it to be in reality. The tips I had read suggested that tattoos are inappropriate (the head teacher at the school has quite a few, and they're visible), and that tank-tops are disgraceful, as a woman should cover her shoulders. Well, let me tell you: August is unbearably hot and humid, and I only packed a handful of tanks, assuming I'd just wear them at the apartment. Nope! I see women at school and around town baring their shoulders to the summer heat. I've been repeating clothing over and over because most of my clothes cover too much for this weather.

Superstitions

• The director at our school warned us (a day after our arrival, mind you) to only run our air conditioning in fifteen-minute intervals, sparingly, because it's very expensive here. Oops! When we arrived from the airport, we cranked that baby to its coolest setting (I can't overemphasize how hot it is here) and slept all through the night that way. For the next couple days, we followed her instructions - the other Korean teachers at school agreed that it shouldn't be running constantly. After sweating in out in our sauna-home for a week, the "foreign" teachers (remember, that means Western) told us they run theirs all the time and that the natives exaggerate. Well, we haven't received a bill yet, so for the time being, we keep it off overnight and while we're at school but run it in the morning and before bed. So, we bought a fan. Koreans are big proponents of fans because they're so anti-AC, but they're also very paranoid about them! It is believed that if you sleep with a fan on in a closed room, you will die. I haven't yet figured out why that is - do they think it would electrocute you? or the cover would fall off and the blades could cut you? - but we did see (not hear, since we can't understand the language) a story on the news TWICE about fans catching on fire. Maybe that's how they'll kill you! But without AC all night, no fan is not an option. I'll take my chances - plus, our bedroom doesn't have a door... but that's a story for another day.
• Never write someone's name in red ink in Korea! I had read about this (not sure if this is legend, but in the past, red ink was used in obituaries, so writing another's name in red was like a death wish), so I reminded myself to never buy a red pen so that I wouldn't do it on accident while grading a student's work. I had never considered that a white board marker would have the same effect! I was teaching grammar last week, and I made a sentence about one of my students: "Victoria is a good dancer." Immediately, my students screamed! I didn't understand their panic at first, but as they pointed in horror at the board, I realized my mistake. I quickly erased her name and rewrote it in black. Mostly, the class was laughing nervously - I think they know it's a simple superstition and that I meant no harm - but it certainly caused a panic in the classroom! I apologized to Victoria and wished her a long and prosperous life, and she laughed.

Well, these examples are only a handful of the dozens of differences we've found in this new culture, and I'm sure we've only found the tip of the iceberg. In moments like these, as a traveler and learner, it's important to remember that just because something is different doesn't make it wrong or stupid or silly. Culture shock is real, but embracing the newness helps a lot with the adjustment. What do you think of these customs? How would you react to these changes? Have you heard of any other Korean customs I should brush up on before another disaster?